AOL INSTANT MESSAGE, APRIL FOOLS!

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Before she was Laura Vinci de Vanegas she was ‘phattyinatutu.’

The screen names that you thought the world had forgotten have resurfaced.  AIM handles instead of names today. Check out the artists’ page to see who named themself  ‘QTwitDaFlyyBootie.’

What was your AIM name?

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Stages of Staging

There are five stages of grief, ten stages of death, three stages of labor, and (I will argue) six stages of choreography.

1. The Conceptual Stage: Most of this stage occurs in the shower or the car.  In this stage I’m full of exciting ideas about colors, themes, titles – big overarching concepts.  This stage has no concern for budgets, schedules, or even gravity.  Wonderfully impossible things happen here.

2. The Sweaty Stage: This is the stage wherein I start making steps with my dancers.  At this point I have most likely lost sight of my conceptual day-dreaming and am just making movements.  It is at this point that I get preoccupied with innovation (trying to make a ‘cool’ step).  It’s a sweaty time but not always an artistically-driven one.  In its best iteration, this stage creates the language through which the work will be communicated.

3. The Crafting Stage: I now take the ‘steps’ and set them to music and in relation to one another.  At this point I’m usually feeling pretty good about what has emerged.  The dancers are beginning to take on the movement as their own, meanings begin to bubble to the surface, and all of that shower thinking starts to pay off.  It seems that Borat might explain this one best. “King of the castle. I have a chair. Go do this. Go do this.”

4. The Cleaning/Editing/Panicking/Polishing Stage: In this stage all of those fuzzy feelings disappear, making way for some hefty self-doubt.  You are too far along to go back; after all, the show must go on. The dancers have mastered the tasks you have given them and any short comings are wholly your own, as choreographer.  You make small changes, add costumes, add set pieces.  In this stage, I usually long for the simplicity of sweaty rehearsal clothes and dance studio settings.  The theatrical elements (lights, stages, make-up) always surprise me, even after a decade of this.  They always start out feeling false, artificial, creating an unnaturally distancing between me and my dance.  They feel vain… There is usually more shower-thinking in this stage.  For me, this is the scariest stage – and when successful, the most rewarding one.

5. The Performance Stage: Like Adele Dazeem tells us, this stage is about letting go.  In this stage, the dance is no longer solely yours.  Be selfless and let the dancers and the audience have their gift.  Step back and hope that all your hard work has manifest something worth thinking about.  And if it hasn’t, be grateful that you tried and then try again.  To the best of your ability, be honest with yourself about what worked and what didn’t work.  This stage is about watching, appreciating, and flowers.  Bring your dancers flowers.  But also this: you can point and laugh at a flower, but it will still bloom and grow and be beautiful.

6. The Recovery Stage: Nap. Read books. Go see other shows (dance and otherwise). Be a part of the community at large.  Make coffee dates with interesting people. Goto yoga. More naps. And pretty soon, without much thought, your morning shower will again be fully of ideas.

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Re-Blog (so good I needed it again)

In late 2011 I asked my friend, lighting designer, technical director, and all around thoughtful guy Joshua Paul Weckesser to write a blog for our website.  In conjunction with a show we were working on, I asked him “what is dance?”  In a few short weeks we will present a new and improved version of Lips of Their Fingersa work that premiered on that 2011 show.  And with that in mind, I am revisiting Josh’s blog and the question at large – what is dance?  Enjoy his brilliant musing below, and then buy your tickets and help us answer the question in person (March 28-30, 2014!).

WHAT IS DANCE? by Joshua Paul Weckesser 

(originally published September 2011)

I’m going with a few big ideas and then, most likely, discard them immediately. This is the internet, it is my right. I work in dance, it is my habit. Years ago I worked on plays. It was a time, hard to believe now, before cell phones and always-on internet. Even then I was drawn to the real thing, where the simulacrum would not do, to these places where the public comes and sits, the lights dim, the hush and then. And then.

I read Ibsen, I saw Checkov. I quote Shakespeare while watching football (“I hate it, as I hate hell, all Patriots, and Brady”). But all these words, words, words were not enough. Our crown prince said it himself, “can this cockpit hold / the vasty fields of France? or may we cram / Within this wooden O the very casques / That did affright the air at Agincourt?” No, we can’t. Not when the cineplex is down the street, not when the television is in our living rooms, the very internet in our pocket. There are always words coming at us, and so few of them can grab our attention and fill us with wonder, with disgust, with shock, confusion, elation. Most of the time they settle comfortably into the white noise that is the sound floor of our lives.

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That is the thing about dancing. You can’t be driving and watch a dance. You can’t be making dinner with dance on in the background. It demands your attention. The only way to consume it is wholly and completely. Which is why bad dancing is so painful to watch, the failure is so complete. There’s no reprieve. The theatre doors are closed, exiting is awkward, as is checking your phone. You have to sit and watch. The other edge of this sword is that amazing dance condenses all of your life into this moment, while your eyes land on that wrist and it flicks here and then rests there. “Of course,” you think, “There it is.” And it has always been there. And a moment later it’s gone.

Chances are though, if you’re reading this blog, you already know all this. But the choir is the easiest group to preach to.

I read once that “writing about music is like dancing about architecture.” And my first thought was, “Oh, I’d love to see a dance about architecture.” Something so passing, so fragile, so dream-like reaching out for something so solid and seemingly-permanent. The analogies between an elbow and a grand staircase, an ankle and an elevator. The dissonance between what is meant and what is seen. Writing about dance seems about the same.

All of this comes out of Lizzie saying, “You can’t sit with dance the way you sit with a painting.” Comes out of Melissa resting on Nicole’s knee, desperately maintaining her composure while the ground literally shakes beneath her, frantic and then still, trying to do something while someone tries to stop her from doing that thing. Comes out of Laura at the head of a line holding her pants to her right, everyone revealed in the leotards and hidden in the dim floor lamps, the tension rising, the pants dropping, the music starting and the moment has passed. Delicious and sweet, like a remembered candy, like a remembered first kiss.

It comes out of turning a brickwall into a backdrop; transforming a wood floor with a patch of astroturf. Of writing lighting cues on a brand-new console. Turning half a plot and some units on the ground into a fully realized design, a cavernous room into a theater. Of the stress of sitting next to the choreographer throughout the whole run. I press a button and, hopefully, something beautiful happens. If not, there is little I can do. Powerless, I can only watch, perhaps weep, and on this show look to my right into the shock and loss on the face of the prime motivator of the event. It’s a feeling of almost sweating, of sitting up straight for an hour and a half. Standing by and then going. Surely, there are other ways to live, but I do not care to know them.

What is dancing? I don’t know. I never will. That’s why I keep coming back. My thanks to the Leopold Group for asking. For being comfortable in the question, in the doubt, in the incomplete answers. If someone was to ask me, “What is dancing?” I would like to take them by the wrist to this show, sit them on those bleachers and say, “We don’t know either, but watch. The journey is the important part.” Like all great mysteries one answer leads to new questions. Here’s what I can say for sure: You can watch it on the internet, but something that is amazing you turn to your friend and say, “Man, I’d love to see that.” Because the seeing isn’t complete until you’re there hearing the zipper work, the bare foot sound on the astroturf, the ever-present breath, images serve only to whet your appetite. After it’s over you’re left with wonder, like a vanishing dream. You can’t hold onto it, only moments remain, only a feeling. And it feels, oddly, like coming home because we are such stuff as dreams are made of. And we, like the dance, will vanish into air (into thin air).

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Rinse, Wash, Repeat

Yesterday in rehearsal we had a great conversation about pacing and output.  Actually, it was more of a debate.  To patiently wait for inspiration or to treat artistic output like any other job and do the work – daily, hourly?  If you have been keeping up with the Leopold Group over the past year, you clearly know where I stand.   Do the work.  Be willing to experience the productive failure. Learn the lessons. And then do better.  But don’t sit around and wait for divine intervention.  Rather, don’t sit around and wait for anything.  Go out and do.

Of course there is more gradient to the debate than just stillness or action.  Both modes of being are important, important complements to one another.  As a matter of fact, I may have overdone the ‘doing’ and underdone the stillness this winter.  But alas, that’s a lesson I could have only learned by doing.

The dance that we will present in three weeks is my very own choreographic deceleration.  It begins big, loud, and busy – like my last few months.  And as the piece goes on, it simplifies and reveals itself through stillness and subtlety.  It clears the stage, quite literally – removing costume pieces, sets, and finally dancers.

When the show closes I will  find a quiet place of stillness and do the work of waiting.  But that’s just it…the waiting itself is still the work.

 THERE IS ‘DOING’ EVEN IN THE UNDOING. 

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A Love Story

In summer 2011, I first saw her dance.  She performed this crazy, falling over, throwing herself all over the place solo dance and I was smitten.552752_446029158763965_1563544160_n

A year later I invited her into our rehearsals.  She accepted.  I breathed a sigh of relief.

She came to rehearsal with no incentive and no promise of performance and worked her butt off.  She learned everyone’s steps from the back of the room and bravely stepped in when she was asked to.  As we probably all know, understudying is one of the hardest things to do well (both mentally and physically).  She did it with grace, skill and happily.  We all liked having her around more than a little bit :)

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In August I was short one dancer.  I was making a short work that needed an even number of performers (duets) and I texted her VERY last minute.  She gave me an enthusiastic YES and I was tickled.

As that show closed, she stopped me in theater.  “I want to be in the Leopold Group.” Welp, that’s the biggest compliment a dancemaker can get – a dancer whom they respect wants to dance their dances.

This is the story of how I fell in love with Cara Newman.  And we lived happily ever after.

The End.

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Pacing

I’ve done a pretty crappy job of pacing myself this winter.

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2014 has already brought about Archipelagoa week-long research trip to Ballet San Jose to watch a mounting of an Ohad Naharin work called Minus 16, a performance at the Pritzker Pavillion, and a residency/performance at Oakland University wherein we taught classes, set a work, and performed ourselves.

In the midst of all of this I had grand blogging plans.

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I wanted to write a blog about the amazing week leading upto Archipelago, wherein new friendships were born and Packy (our musician) confessed to finally “getting” modern dance and then (on our last day) participated in warm-up – hanging upside down from Matthew McMunn’s feet.

I wanted to write a blog about my mind-numbingly awesome week in San Jose where I played the role of scholar successfully and watched a beautiful dance be born again.  Where I observed, studied, and noted an amazing audience participation section and then was chosen to participate in rehearsal and couldn’t find a way out of the awkward picture that I knew I was painting.  I was both the object and the observer and it was gloriously frustrating.

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I wanted to write a blog about Vision, Faith, & Desire II (which I’ve lovingly subtitled, Back in the Habit), wherein beautiful dancer/choreographer Annie Beserra graciously took on my solo  Aftermath. I wanted to write this blog about ‘firsts’ – Annie was my first choreography teacher ever when I was a Cherub  (a summer program) at Northwestern and Aftermath was the first dance I ever made (in 2004 at the University of Michigan).   Worlds collide!

I wanted to write a blog about our crazy, sleep-less week at Oakland University wherein we taught, rehearsed, and performed all day and then stayed up all night in a playroom hosting tea parties and staging baby dolls in the bathroom to scare whomever was in the shower.

I suppose when my life is full, my blog is empty :)  Thank you for your patience in my digital absence.  And take a deep breath with us as we gear up for one more spectacular show to end this crazy marathon winter – Witness, March 28-30. (and then we’ll all nap for a week.)

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Tutus and Lasers

Ten years of dancemaking has created quite an accumulation of stuff.  There are two lime green chairs, a couple of lamps, rolls of marley, rolls of astro turf, nearly 100 glass jars, nearly that many leotards of various colors, a handful of tuxedos, brown pants, black pants, blue pants, dresses, sweaters, sports bras and bike shorts galore, a bag full of sparkly deely boppers, a giant red curtain, white tutus and colored tutus, a beed curtain, Christmas lights, extension chords, and the list goes on.

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Each item is a dance that I made, or a dance that I almost made, or a dance that I wanted to make.  Each piece reminds me of a theater or of a particular dancer, her initials usually inscribed on the inside tag.  The initialed tags tell a story of dancers that came and went, of dancers who married and changed initials.  It’s a closet full of my most cherished memories.  But the thing is, it’s not a closet at all.

Apartment living does not leave much room for all of the Leopold Group paraphernalia, so my father has graciously housed all of it in his factory for years.  He makes titanium coils and racks and I make dances; the tools of our respective trades live side-by-side – tutus and laser cutters, lathes and leotards.  The Leopold Group costume closet is actually a titanium fabrications factory.

As I was rooting through the boxes today, pulling items for our show this weekend, I was fantasizing about space.  I think all dancemakers fantasize about space – affordable and available rehearsal space, empty store fronts as dream dance studios, and well, storage space.  But I came to the conclusion that I like where my stuff lives. I like the proximity of lycra to aluminum.  I like the idea that my dad is a maker of things and so am I.  I like that our tools share a room – tutus and laser cutters co-habitating.  Untitled-1

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Muse-lissa

We have a show in one week.  It will be the first show that I’ve ever produced without dancer Melissa Bloch.

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I met Melissa on my first day of college and I learned how to dance ballet by standing behind her at the barre and taking copious mental notes. “She dances so big for being so small.” “She’s never afraid to fall over.” “Her face dances.” And so on… Melissa was fearless and beautiful and I wanted to both dance like her and be her friend.  Good news for me, she didn’t mind my stalking.

By the time we graduated college I had convinced her that I was a choreographer.  She came with me to Chicago, and New York, and San Francisco, so that I could make dances for her to dance.  Starting out as a choreographer is doubly hard when you aren’t interested (or capable) in performing yourself.  In order to make my dreams come true, I needed Melissa to dance my dances.  She obliged.

We made lots of great dances.  We made lots of mediocre ones too.  She stuck with me through all of them.  And she was an honest voice through the whole journey.  In her book The Creative Habit (yes, I once read that book…), Twyla Tharp says that a great gauge for choreographers is taking the temperature of one’s dancers.  If the dancers that you want to work with don’t walk out on you in the middle of rehearsal, chances are you’re on the right path.  Melissa was my most accurate gauge.  She stayed. She worked hard. She told me when she wanted to walk out.  She challenged me to fall over and she picked me up when I did.

In 2007, I produced my first ever concert as the Leopold Group.  One of the four works on the program was a new duet called Visiting Hours.  Melissa and I danced it together.  It was about the recent death of my grandmother (who on her deathbed had disclosed some pretty juicy personal information that sent my entire family into a tailspin).  I loved dancing that work with Melissa.

We have a show in one week. It will be the first show that I’ve ever produced without Melissa Bloch.  We are presenting a restaging of Visiting Hours.  So, it won’t be a show without Melissa afterall.  She will be present in each step we take (oh, and she’ll probably also be taking tickets and holding my hand).   I have joked that my relationship with Melissa is the longest one I’ve ever been in…all artists should be so lucky.

Much love to future physical therapist Melissa Bloch, my Muse-lissa.

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Dream Team

I don’t know much about sportsball.  Despite growing up in a household where my mother had a lifetime subscription to Sports Illustrated and the doorbell played the Michigan fight song, I can’t sit through an entire sporting event of any genre.  I played T-ball as a child, but was distressed at how the cap messed up my pony tail (Exhibit A below).  I was never much of a team player.  I was even asked to leave ice skating classes LizTballbecause (on more than one occasion) I purposefully knocked over my classmates in an effort to be the fastest.  Of course, when pressed by the instructor to trade figure skating for speed skating I refused – no pretty, sequined costumes in speed skating.  This is all to say, dance worked for me because I didn’t have to sit still too long, could construct and maintain a pony tail of high integrity, and it wasn’t a team sport.  I, after all, wasn’t a good team player.

I spent many years training as a dancer with that mind set: This isn’t a team sport.  Dance class was a constant competition with the people around me.  It was this strange assumption that the success of those around me was threatening to my own chances for success.   Every man for himself.  I was on my own.

Well, I am happy to report that there are not a finite number of perfect pirouettes in the world.  Whew! If my barre-neighbor completes a lovely double, that does not detract from my ability or chances of doing the same.  The people I have had the privilege of sharing studios and stages with are my best teachers and supporters – my teammates.  Just like a football team, we all have mastered different and complimentary roles that make us an ideal whole.

That brings us to Archipelago.  In January, we will present a new evening-length dance work, a choreographic collaboration between eight Chicago dancemakers (myself included).  Putting together Archipelago has been a lot like drafting a fantasy football team (or least I imagine so…having never done the latter).   These seven other artists have strengths where I see my own weaknesses and bravery where I have only nerves – making the Leopold Group a stronger team for their presence.  We will come together, each having prepared a solo or a duet, and merge each excerpt into a full length work.  We will learn and steal from one another.  We will inspire and support one another.  We will push and challenge our barre-neighbors.  We will be reminded that dance is not a solo endeavor and that talent, artistry, and innovation are not finite resources.  We will take a respite from the competition for grants, ticket buyers, stage rentals, rehearsal times and press coverage and we will be a team.

My dream team includes Enid Smith of enidsmithdance, Ronn Stewart of Cocodaco, Joel Valentin-Martinez of Valentin Projects, Jessie Marasa, Kristina Fluty, Matthew McMunn, and Cara Newman.  It includes live music by Packy Lundholm.  It includes lighting design by Joshua Paul Weckesser and stage management by Lauren Girard of Bread & Roses Productions.  It includes performances and contributions from Natalia Stamm, Jordan Newmark, Amanda Dye, Alyssa Gregory, Ben Law, Carleen Healy, Sarah Goldstone and Phylicia Roybal.  I think we’re going to win the Super Bowl, score all the goals, take the pennant, and get a hole-in-one.

And I promise not to knock anyone over or care if my pony-tail gets messed up.

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Kimmy + Marina (BFF 4eva <3)

In order to write this blog post I must admit something very embarrassing and personal…

Sometimes, late at night when I can’t fall asleep, I look at Kim Kardashian’s instagram feed.  DON’T LEAVE ME!  Please keep reading.  I promise that this transgression does not negate any intellectual or artistic sensibility that you might have assigned to me.  We all have our weaknesses, right?

Anyway, last night was one of those sleepless nights and when I open Ms. Karsdashian’s feed I was met with this:

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If you’re not sure who Marina Abramovic is you can (oddly enough) reference any number of celebrity encounters – a music video with Jay-Z, a stress management consult with Lady Gaga, a James Franco bio-pic.  I first encountered (through books and video) Marina in a classroom at NYU, History of Performance Art.  In both a school and a program (Performance Studies – sometimes calling itself post-disciplinary or interdisciplinary) that prides itself on challenging boundaries, definitions and labels – Abramovic was introduced to me, quite stably, as the “Grandmother of performance art” – performance art being another one of those porous anti-fields, challenging theatrical, spectatorial, and embodied assumption that might construct boundaries and police behavior – rife with not so subtle feminist undertones.  Performance artists, Ms. Abramovic included, have often staged the hyper violent and aggressively sexual in order to re-appropriate the naked, female body from a public and a media that has demeaned it, silenced it, and tossed it aside.

That said, what to do with this instagram photo??  Kardashian captions it with a cool blue heart and Ms. Abramovic’s name.  It strikes me like a high school yearbook signature – HAGS!  Loved having science class with you….

I would like nothing more than to conclude that Ms. Kardashian’s photo is one of Abramovic’s greatest performance works to date.  Posing for the photograph and cosying up to Kardashian -a celebrity figure who embodies so much of what Abramovic’s works have challenged – is a satire.  I would title this work “Kimmy + Marina BFF 4eva <3″

But alas, it seems as though celebrity and mainstream fame is endlessly intoxicating – even for those that have the patience to live in an art gallery for 12 days without water or privacy.  My late night keeping up with Ms. Kardashian’s photos seems somehow less transgressive than Marina Abramovic’s red carpet ladies night.  But why and is that even fair?

Here’s another personal admission – I’m a feminist.  I believe in an equality of men and women and I resent how my gender is portrayed in the media and policed by its government.  While my own performance practices have not taken on these issues as directly or as aggressively as Abramovic, I stand in solidarity and in awe of her incredible body of work (pun intended).  This discord between her defiantly staged body (see here for example) and the one that passively appeared on my iPhone screen last night is frightening.  Of course, both people and performances change overtime.  Identities, like the academic disciplines that brought me here, are unstable and continuously shifting.  I just have my fingers crossed that Abramovic will shift right off that dangerous, red carpet…

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